My 4 month stay in a psychiatric ward was life changing. I meet many people during my time in there, people who will stay in my mind forever. Many are in competition, how many years they have been ill, how many attempts to take their own life, how many pills they take a day. I didn’t ever […]
Suicidal and Sectioned
After struggling with depression and anxiety for years, it took a turn for the worse. I was religiously taking the antidepressants, going to weekly counselling, but the downward spiral continued. The suicidal thoughts were constant. I would tell myself, no one would miss me, I was an outsider, not important. I doubted anyone would even […]
Depression sets in
People use the terminology depressed, when they are having a bad day or week. People who are truly depressed aren’t always aware of it initially and when they are aware of it, they rarely tell people about it. Because depression turns you in on yourself, cuts you off from the outside world. Imagine how it […]
Started full time employment
I didn’t choose my job; my parents chose it for me. My sister was already working, she had arranged for me to get a job with her. In preparation for my first day, my mother told me what a state I was. My hair was a mess, needed cutting and I was a dirty spotty, […]
Starting secondary school
We all have to start secondary school; for me it was an incredibly upsetting experience. It began when we had to nominate two friends we would like to be in class with when we started secondary school, for most the challenge was reducing their extensive list down, to just two. I didn’t have two, I […]
The lonely playground
The playground is lonely when you have mouldy legs, the other children give you a wide birth. My mother told me; it was down to the parents; they didn’t want their child near me in case my eczema was contagious. I was already a loner, wondering around the playground every day on my own, waiting […]
I have a heart condition
I can’t imagine anyone finds it easy being diagnosed with a heart condition. What made it even more difficult for me, was being tested two weeks after my brother had collapsed and subsequently died from a cardiac arrest at the age of 44. I hadn’t even begun to heal from the trauma of seeing him […]
I lost my brother
What started as a normal dreary autumn day, turned out to be the worst day of my life. Sunday afternoon watching TV when I received a phone call, my brother had collapsed, his heart had stopped. The paramedics had managed to restart his heart, he had been rushed to hospital, he was in a bad […]